Today, I am exhausted. Jack woke up at ten til six, because he had to pee. I don't think either of us really went back to sleep after that, though we laid in bed until almost seven. Fatigue only heightens my pregnancy hormone-induced irritability at... well, at everything. And knowing that my pissy feelings are irrational does nothing to abate them. For some reason, I tend to direct a lot of my irritation at the dog. Just the look on her face as she stands there, wagging her tail expectantly makes me want to scream. Of course, it is genuinely annoying the way she has glued herself to me recently. Every time I turn around, she's six inches behind me. Either she really loves me or she is plotting to undo me via tripping hazard.
A couple of evenings ago, Jason came downstairs to find me sprawled on the couch in my pj's, belly hanging out and frowning at the magazine I was reading. He chuckled and said something to the effect of, "You're so cute sitting there scowling at your magazine. I love you." (I'm really going to have to hang on to him if he thinks a pissy pregnant woman in her pajamas is cute.) I can't even remember what it was now, but there was something in that magazine that irritated me - an ad for some utterly ridiculous and useless product, an article listing idiotically common sense ways to control your weight... who knows. The way I've been lately, it could have simply been that I found the color scheme of the cover off-putting.
The funny thing is, I don't really feel like I'm in a bad mood. I feel happy and relaxed most of the time, I just knit my brow at things and periodically... a lot of things. And I know these are things that wouldn't normally irk me at all. I've found muttering to myself that old adage, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," because often the quips that want to escape my mouth when these minor irritants pop up are utterly unconstructive, if not downright mean. I guess I just have to control myself, keep going to yoga and wait it out. I REALLY hope my patience meter goes back up once this baby is born, because I'm certainly going to need it.
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